Time management – exhausted or confident?

30 November 2015 is the 180th birthday of Mark Twian (1835 – 1910) the famous American writer. The following quote is widely attributed to him ‘If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if It’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first”. However the quote was said for the fist time in 1791 by French writers including Nicolas Chamfort, Émile Zola and Apocryphal a little differently.

Later when quote arrived in English speaking nations it was modified, re-quoted and so goes on the story. The quote became a global phenomenon when picked up by time management gurus. If researched in detail, the quote was not related at all to the time management concept in 1791’s France. It was an advice to people of France to be prepared for worst things happening every day. Searching at amazon.com one can find more than 1200 books dealing with frog eating issue. If you narrow down your search to exact title ‘Eat That Frog’, in Business and Money Category you’ll currently (Nov 2015) find 15 books with that exact title in English language. However, the term is widely being used and I suppose that it is certainly searched few hundred thousand times a year. Google search engine shows that average monthly search for the term ‘eat that frog’ is more than ten thousand.

The simplest explanation about the quote in this aspect is that one should handle the most difficult task as first thing every morning. As per this perception, once you complete that most difficult task i.e. “The Frog” you’ll be highly relaxed and would be ready to happily finish all remaining tasks.

Let me admit that I had been a sincere follower of this school of thought for years until it started to taste bad and started hurting my stomach. Following this very approach greatly diminished my happiness level and my analytical capacity to handle tasks and other issues. However I figured out that this eat the frog idea leads to DBFE states i.e. Depressed, Bored, Frustrated and Exhausted stages. It makes you depressed even a night before to think about the ‘hard’ task for next day for which you have limited capacity, that's why it is labeled as hard!

Therefore I decided to challenge the idea and have put forward a rival model named as hsbc i.e. Happy, Successful, Boosted and Confident stages. In this model you start the day by happily handling the tasks. The happy handling of the tasks then makes you successful that in turns boost your morale. Eating the frog simply exhaust any person while hsbc model would leave any one confident and even lead her to the Creativity stage. I suggest all people who are stressed with deadlines to manage the tasks, to give a try to this approach. I am quite sure that most of them would end up being successful, confident and more creative. Further details about hsbc model can be found at: 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B018PXIBJU?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

Don’t forget to leave a review!

View other books in ‘Satisfied Careers’ series by the author: 

https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/6005899.Azhar_Ali

Why 2015 Failed to get me surrendered?

There could be many ups and downs in ones life, a year, month or even a day. You can get good news in the morning that can completely be dominated by relatively bad news by evening.  Year 2015 started with many wonderful ideas in mind and in pipeline for me. I had been following a quite promising project since October 2014 and by January 2015 things seem quite on track. Whole team was quite happy but unexpectedly problems started to emerge leading to complete cancellation of the project.

This was not the only bad news the first month of year brought; I had to quit my long time associated company on 31 January 2015. I needed to realign my whole career strategy now; I did not have the crucial support of company when a break comes during free lancing work. Therefore after working for almost 13 years mainly as a free-lancer consultant I decided to go ahead with idea of a Job. A wonderful opportunity appeared in Qatar and after ups and down finally by August I came to know that I could not avail it! Coming back to end of January, I also applied for a Job with local company and got the job but it needed approval from some ministry also. It was expected that I’d start working by 01 March 2015 that finally realized only by 2nd week of May 2015.

Those were really hard times but thanks to my close friends’ network I managed to survive both financially and morally. Job was good but it had not been enough to build the day, it only helped to save the day and that also sometimes only partially.

However when ever I have downs in my career life I always started developing new skills and polishing the existing ones. It was hard time and I had limited budgets for such activities but I remained consistent. By end of July I had completed my Specialization in Entrepreneurship from Maryland University and another 6 courses related to disaster management and health care issues. All of this learning increased level of my internal happiness regardless of the situation around me. Then in July I also got my Master’s Thesis published as a book. 

Life started to follow a certain defined trend that was quite different. Previously I was going for international assignments thrice or more times a year, was getting money as per free lance international expert at much higher rates but now I had very limited options to increase my earnings. At this time I got the most severe blow due to death of my beloved mother. I know well that there is no compensation to this loss whatever we do.

After August while concentrating on my job’s work I started reading books more than I used to read previously. I tried to further develop my analytical skills and knowledge about ancient ways of life. I became interested in observation and assessment of the stress as a result of our current technology and living styles. At this stage using my notes I managed to compile a brief e-book entitled, ‘13 Ancient Ways to Overcome Technological Stress’. 

The book provides ancient and some not so ancient ways to keep us happy in spite of all the problems and technological stress. A Danish study done after I published my e-book clearly supported the idea I put in my e-book. I am sure that readers of this e-book would find the described ways useful and become happier in future by following them.

I did not surrender to year 2015 in spite of all hardships and who knows might turn it to be one of best years, we still have 47 days to 2016!

Purpose of Life - Lost in work!

Few days back I received a call on my mobile from an unknown number. Although I rarely pick such calls but somehow I thought may be it is related to ‘work’ so picked the phone. The lady at the other end stated my name and said that she was calling on behalf of ‘Theater of Community without Hindrance’. She said that there would be a theater show near my place after 20 days and if I wanted to purchase tickets. I told her to call me next morning. Next morning she called at exact time we agreed and provided me some more details. All (and if any) income from the show would be spent to make life better for people with hinderances. I agreed to purchase 2 tickets and asked her if she can send tickets to my place after a week as I am going out of city.

When I was back and the day came, she called me but I was in a meeting with some high ups of the city and had completely forgotten the theater issue. Any how I apologized and said if tickets can be sent next day, to which she said it was her pleasure. I requested to call me again the next day before ticket delivery.

And today I received a call around 09:50 in the morning, a guy was saying that he’ll be bringing the tickets. I was little annoyed because I asked tickets to be delivered by 10 which was at risk now and I felt that voice of the guy was a little rude in my opinion. Any how as time passed I put coffee in my cup and started drinking it slowly, by 11 O’clock the main bell rang and I opened the door. I was waiting at the door and a guy came up.. I looked and guy was younger than me (for sure!) but he had some handicap and was also receiving chemotherapy. My all annoyance simply disappeared. I was victim of the condition related to perception and feeling as mentioned in one of my previous blogs HERE. 

I took the tickets and made the payment. My mind was at the huge task I was working on and wanted to return to desk. The guy turned back to go and at just that moment I realized how preoccupied I have become with my work during last few years. The guy’s lips were dry as fertile soil is under the burning sun. Then I realized that he had some speech problem also.. he hardly said following, ‘I had to walk 2 miles under sun to give you these tickets and if you are not annoyed can I get a glass of water, even from tap’. 

Man.. I was pitched in to earth what on hell I have been preoccupied with.. I immediately said no issue, let me bring you something to drink. When he drank he said he liked it, it was a traditional drink with rose and other herbs in it. I said no problem and wished him a good luck. He just said thank you and carpets at your home are nice, I said thank you again and closed the door.

I posted the tickets on refrigerator and came back to my desk to resume work. Then something struck me. I said to me, this guy is working under such harsh conditions to make change in life of few and I am such occupied with my own payments and work. He is doing a great job. In the morning I heard at radio show someone saying that ‘duration’ of happy moments in life of most of us has decreased drastically in last 2 decades and I agreed to it!. Then I looked out from window, sun was as bright as it could be and it must have been quite hot there and the guy had to walk back all the way! I could have easily arranged for his drop which I missed.. I took my coffee cup and sipped a little coffee but this time there was no aroma or taste of this wonderful ‘Out of Africa’ Coffee!.

So I need to ask if duration of happy moments have really decreased in our life? and Although we may help people more if we have more money but have we lost the human touch with those who are suffering? 

Environment, Genetic Code and Happiness

Dear all I am so sorry for delay in new post. My previous blog was about the lesson a clock in Zurich taught me.  While still in Zurich I heard about sad demise of a close friend of mine then I was planning to write about two topics i.e. Dead End and Song of life. For the later some material is till missing.

In the mean time on Friday the last, I had a chance to take dinner with a great teacher of mine Prof. Coskun Yurteri and also his teacher Prof. Selcuk Soypak. During the dinner Mr. Yurteri mentioned about a book stating that in order to understand nature one must observe behaviour of all living beings especially animals. He has also observed that animals while passing each other do say hello and also give regard to to territories of each other. Secondly he mentioned that as animals live in wild nature they always have fear of death or trouble especially during night time. However when they wake up every morning they are happy mainly because the fearful night has passed and actually they reset themselves for each day.

This implied that although environmental factors are important some genetical codes can not be altered or in other words should not be altered. In Eastern cultures it was very common to see especially the older generation people to thank the creator every morning they wakeup.  In fact people were reseting them every morning. The famous book The Secret written few years aback also highlighted this very same issue. It stated that when in morning one touches ground with the feet he/she should thank God. This triggers the wave of happiness and thankfulness. 

Reseting oneself every morning is very important for the success. It helps people to go in to mode of happiness and gratefulness from the mode of stress and the fear. Therefore leave every day's problems there when night falls and restart your life each morning. However don't loose the ground you made till that time and if you need to consider the old problems, consider them from a new angle each morning!

Internal Perception and External Factors for Happiness

Some good 17 years ago I was reading a book on Psychology in which perception phenomenon was explained. It was explained so remarkably that I still remember it and would like to share it with all. It was like this.

You are coming back to home after a hectic day and very busy evening making you leave office at time to fetch the last metro to your home. Everyone in the compartment was tired like you, trying to rest with closed eyes. When the metro stops at a certain station, suddenly a person with two children of ages 5 and 3 enters the compartment. They sat on some vacant seats but just after a minute or so the children start playing, running and shouting in the compartment. The guy however did not take any notice and kept on sitting silently sleeping with open eyes. 

Question was asked what would be your and most of other passengers’ reaction? Most would consider the person irresponsible for not caring about other people and children as non-disciplined. Finally you stand up and ask the said person to control his children as every one was tired and upset due to the noises being made by children. 

The guy looks at you and says, ‘I am sorry, I can’t do any thing (you and all others re-assess him as irresponsible). Their mother was diagnosed with cancer some time ago and about an hour ago doctor told us that her body is not responding to any type of treatment. Tell me how I may tell this to these playing kids?’... the author of book asks about your and others’ reaction now to same event (noise making children).

This hypothetical story explains the link between our internal perception to external factors and our reaction very clearly. Students of Psychology know it very well that the cycle of behaviour runs through an event-our perception-our reaction to it. Let me try to further elaborate it with another hypothetical example.

You along with your family plan to go on a brief picnic. Packed in your car you drive towards city suburb for green fields.  Kids are happy, their mom is happy, you are happy to spend time with family. At the last traffic light you are forced to take the side lane due to rash driving of some youngsters driving their cars. They were about to hit your car, you become angry and upset. Now from here onward, it is your internal perception to this external factor shaping your reaction and life.

If you perceive that this event has ruined your mood, your reaction would be staying upset and angry resulting in a disastrous picnic for you, your kids and the partner. On the other hand if you perceive this event as one, not in your control, not due to you- you will perceive it as a non linked issue to your life and your reaction would be not caring for it and not allowing it to ruin your picnic. This can save your and yours’ day.

Now lets say that you were so upset that your reaction to the event ruined whole picnic program. Analyze what  you achieved, the event took place without your input but it destroyed your plan. So in other words you allowed an external factor to influence your own life. 

In cases where you really feel it impossible to control your mood, I suggest to do following. Try to be calm for few seconds and imagine yourself as not part of that specific situation. Tell yourself, yes this specific action has made my mood bad but if I also allow it to affect my picnic plan the situation would be much worse and not better.

One of the major issues is, if you consider yourself and your loved ones as ‘centre of gravity’ of your life or some external factor. Secondly if you allow some external event to destroy your life or any planned activity which will have double bad effect i.e. you allowed that event to make you feel bad and you missed your own planned activity and its happiness. Therefore be sure about who or what is centre of gravity for your life and never mind asking if you get stressed and mess up some planned good time, what was your gain? If you consider these two simple tips not to effect your life and its events you may feel happy under different circumstances.